Narelle Brigden - Providing Supportive Counselling Services
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Will My Marriage Survive?

The latest research suggests that 67% of recently married couples end in divorce.  Expectantly,  second marriages, third and so on, the percentages increase exponentially.   This is a worrying statistic and appears to be on the rise  including a gender shift in infidelity with an increase of more than 45% of married women now claiming to have had an affair/s in the last 10 years. 
 
Although many factors contribute to a marriage breakdown,  people citing "excess baggage" being brought from one relationship into another, in reference to their partner, ie THEIR children, THEIR past relationships, THEIR family as a key feature in the demise of the marriage. However, the hangover from a previous marriage is not about the people but rather the relationship that they had with those significant others. 
 
I know that it may seem like I'm splitting hairs here, but what I'm really talking about here is YOU ie how you relate to another person, your traits, your behaviours, your emotional responses. In other words, how you communicate "in relationship" with another person.
 
All too often, couples go to counselling to "fix" their spouse.  My general response is "I can't fix them, but I can help you".  Wherein, the one question that should be asked by couples in counselling is, "what can I do to repair this relationship?"  This question shifts the focus towards having you think about the way you interact in relation to this other person, and how this may impact your marriage. This provides a positive platform to undertake discussion around working together on specific areas for improvement, rather than the defensive position that most couples adopt, not dissimilar to those preparing for battle.
 
I realise that this is a monumental step and often very difficult for anyone to take, particularly amidst the heated emotion of marital disputes, but a necessary one as you move forward in life, whether that is with or, unfortunately, without your partner.
 
A Successful Divorce or a Destructive Divorce.
 
You have to work as hard to get out of the marriage as you did to get into it and it is only complete when you have no unfinished emotional business with the other person.
 
Counselling provides the necessary skills and tools for couples to better relate to each other, in particular, resolving conflict.  In other words, how to "fight fair". You see, airing grievances is considered healthy, yes, that's right very healthy. What most people tend to lack is the ammunition to fight in a way that does not have a negative impact on their significant other.
 
"It's not what you say, its the way you say it".  I know this sounds cliche but truly think about this, how did you learn to fight?? Are you an overt fighter - do you end up screaming and yelling, throwing things, name calling..  Or are you a covert/passive fighter  - do you "stonewall" that is not talk (the dreaded silent treatment), not engage in the fight or give any response or if you're lucky a shrug or mumble  - - it sounds like I'm describing a 4yo in the midst of a tantrum and a belligerent teenager. 
 
Well, would it surprise you to learn that this may be your natural default response position?  Often these default positions may have served us well in the past, particularly through childhood and adolescence, but now are no longer effective.   Through counselling, together, we deconstruct your default position and develop a new way of working though relationship issues that benefit not just this relationship but all people you are "in relationship" with and all future relationships including work, family, friends, etc.
 
Why is this so important? Because if the marriage is irreconcilable, and if we are to believe the statistics - many are, what have you learnt from that marital experience that you take into the next relationship:-
 
a.  more excess emotional baggage or
b.  better communication and relationships skills.
 
Narelle Brigden
Post Grad. Dip., Counselling
M.A.C.A.
 
Manly, NSW 2095
Australia
Mobile: 0419 264 852
 
*Names change for privacy.

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affordable papers online on Thursday, 5 July 2018 4:14 PM
I really think that if you love each other and stay loyal to one another, divorce will never be an answer. Getting married should not be for fun and games, it should be taken seriously because marriage is a sacred ceremony. I believe that when you get married, you are not your own person anymore, you are now one with your spouse. You should only marry the one you love. Divorce is not an option, it should not even cross your mind.


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maria mirabel on Tuesday, 18 August 2020 8:47 PM
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Wendy Adams on Wednesday, 26 August 2020 12:27 PM
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james paul on Saturday, 12 September 2020 6:40 AM
HOW  DR AKHIGBE   HELPED ME ENLARGE MY PENIS SIZE FROM 3.5 INCHES TO 11INCHES LONG AND 8.0 GROWTH https://powerfulspellcast.wixsite.com/drabudu   I got married 2 years ago and it just seemed that there was no excitement in my sex life. My dysfunction to perform to the best of my abilities in bed made it harder for my wife and me to have a good time during sex. And i  was having the  feeling that she may decide to get a divorce one day. I knew something had to be done in order to improve my sex life and to save my marriage because my marriage was already falling apart, so when i was on my Facebook page i came across a story of how DR AKHIGBE  helped him enlarged his penis to 8ins better.so i Immediately copied the Email address of the Dr and explained to him my problem,he gave me some simply instruction which i must follow and i did easily and my friends Today, i am the happiest man on Earth, All Thanks to  DR AKHIGBE  for saving my marriage and making me a real man today.i asked him about some purpular diseases like HERPES,HIV AIDS,HEPATITES,DIABETIS, CANCERS, WART, Get Ex back ,etc....... which are affecting most people he said there is no disease without a cure , he has it all...You can as well reach the Dr below for help on your problem, for he has the solution to all... Email:[  akhigbe881@gmail.com     ] WhatsAPP DR [  +2348059474199   ]      
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Christina Khan on Thursday, 17 September 2020 10:46 AM
I promise Dr Kala that i will testify of his good work if he help me to get back my husband and he really did which prompt me to write this wonderful testimony. My husband and i have been together for 11yrs and married over 6years now with 2 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called Dr Kala who help people with relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he cast a love spell for me and within 48hours my husband came back to me and beg me to forgive him for what he did and right now he has stopped going out with ladies and he is with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem on email: kalalovespell@gmail.com or WhatsApp +2347051705853
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maria gusto on Saturday, 19 September 2020 12:47 PM
WOW...What a Great Testimony....I am by name Maria Gusto from USA, i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great DR.balbosa for helping in getting my Ex husband back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted DR on, balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com or TEXT on WHATSAPP +2347048047728.he gave me a lasting solution and told me to wait for just 12 hours so that my Ex husband will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, before 12 hours, my Ex husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me.I am the happiest Woman on earth today because Dr.balbosa has done wonderful deeds in my life and I will continue to share this testimony, you can contact him also for help on his Email: balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com and WHATAPP Number on +2347048047728.Good Luck...
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maria gusto on Saturday, 19 September 2020 12:48 PM
WOW...What a Great Testimony....I am by name Maria Gusto from USA, i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great DR.balbosa for helping in getting my Ex husband back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted DR on, balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com or TEXT on WHATSAPP +2347048047728.he gave me a lasting solution and told me to wait for just 12 hours so that my Ex husband will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, before 12 hours, my Ex husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me.I am the happiest Woman on earth today because Dr.balbosa has done wonderful deeds in my life and I will continue to share this testimony, you can contact him also for help on his Email: balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com and WHATAPP Number on +2347048047728.Good Luck...
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maria gusto on Saturday, 19 September 2020 12:50 PM
WOW...What a Great Testimony....I am by name Maria Gusto from USA, i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great DR.balbosa for helping in getting my Ex husband back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted DR on, balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com or TEXT on WHATSAPP +2347048047728.he gave me a lasting solution and told me to wait for just 12 hours so that my Ex husband will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, before 12 hours, my Ex husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me.I am the happiest Woman on earth today because Dr.balbosa has done wonderful deeds in my life and I will continue to share this testimony, you can contact him also for help on his Email: balbosasolutionhome@gmail.com and WHATAPP Number on +2347048047728.Good Luck...
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