Narelle Brigden - Providing Supportive Counselling Services
RSS Become a Fan

Recent Posts

How to Measure the Strength on your Relationship
Why self-help books, well, don't help
WARNING - Are you on a quest for authenticity or finding your bliss? STOP!! You could be making a HUGE mistake
Fighting Fair
Will My Marriage Survive?


Personal Development
Relationship Counselling
powered by

My Blog

Will My Marriage Survive?

The latest research suggests that 67% of recently married couples end in divorce.  Expectantly,  second marriages, third and so on, the percentages increase exponentially.   This is a worrying statistic and appears to be on the rise  including a gender shift in infidelity with an increase of more than 45% of married women now claiming to have had an affair/s in the last 10 years. 
Although many factors contribute to a marriage breakdown,  people citing "excess baggage" being brought from one relationship into another, in reference to their partner, ie THEIR children, THEIR past relationships, THEIR family as a key feature in the demise of the marriage. However, the hangover from a previous marriage is not about the people but rather the relationship that they had with those significant others. 
I know that it may seem like I'm splitting hairs here, but what I'm really talking about here is YOU ie how you relate to another person, your traits, your behaviours, your emotional responses. In other words, how you communicate "in relationship" with another person.
All too often, couples go to counselling to "fix" their spouse.  My general response is "I can't fix them, but I can help you".  Wherein, the one question that should be asked by couples in counselling is, "what can I do to repair this relationship?"  This question shifts the focus towards having you think about the way you interact in relation to this other person, and how this may impact your marriage. This provides a positive platform to undertake discussion around working together on specific areas for improvement, rather than the defensive position that most couples adopt, not dissimilar to those preparing for battle.
I realise that this is a monumental step and often very difficult for anyone to take, particularly amidst the heated emotion of marital disputes, but a necessary one as you move forward in life, whether that is with or, unfortunately, without your partner.
A Successful Divorce or a Destructive Divorce.
You have to work as hard to get out of the marriage as you did to get into it and it is only complete when you have no unfinished emotional business with the other person.
Counselling provides the necessary skills and tools for couples to better relate to each other, in particular, resolving conflict.  In other words, how to "fight fair". You see, airing grievances is considered healthy, yes, that's right very healthy. What most people tend to lack is the ammunition to fight in a way that does not have a negative impact on their significant other.
"It's not what you say, its the way you say it".  I know this sounds cliche but truly think about this, how did you learn to fight?? Are you an overt fighter - do you end up screaming and yelling, throwing things, name calling..  Or are you a covert/passive fighter  - do you "stonewall" that is not talk (the dreaded silent treatment), not engage in the fight or give any response or if you're lucky a shrug or mumble  - - it sounds like I'm describing a 4yo in the midst of a tantrum and a belligerent teenager. 
Well, would it surprise you to learn that this may be your natural default response position?  Often these default positions may have served us well in the past, particularly through childhood and adolescence, but now are no longer effective.   Through counselling, together, we deconstruct your default position and develop a new way of working though relationship issues that benefit not just this relationship but all people you are "in relationship" with and all future relationships including work, family, friends, etc.
Why is this so important? Because if the marriage is irreconcilable, and if we are to believe the statistics - many are, what have you learnt from that marital experience that you take into the next relationship:-
a.  more excess emotional baggage or
b.  better communication and relationships skills.
Narelle Brigden
Post Grad. Dip., Counselling
Manly, NSW 2095
Mobile: 0419 264 852
*Names change for privacy.

64 Comments to Will My Marriage Survive?:

Comments RSS
tibet tour services on Monday, 20 May 2013 8:27 AM
Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?
Reply to comment
affordable papers online on Thursday, 5 July 2018 4:14 PM
I really think that if you love each other and stay loyal to one another, divorce will never be an answer. Getting married should not be for fun and games, it should be taken seriously because marriage is a sacred ceremony. I believe that when you get married, you are not your own person anymore, you are now one with your spouse. You should only marry the one you love. Divorce is not an option, it should not even cross your mind.

blogcauseon on Wednesday, 22 May 2013 7:42 AM
There may be noticeably a bundle to learn about this. I assume you made sure nice factors in features also.
Reply to comment

terracotta jewellery on Monday, 26 August 2013 4:12 PM
I have learn several excellent stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how so much effort you put to create such a great informative website.!!
Reply to comment

dubai prenup photography on Thursday, 29 August 2013 9:37 PM
marriage survives only when you will be trustworthy with your partner. The information you have offered is amazing. I was distinct such kind of subject since lengthy but lastly these days my look for is over & remarkable thanks to you. Your website is not only excellent also useful. Even though the headline of your weblog is very brief but still it is appealing enough to controls the fascination at first vision and offerring the idea of the whole issue. Thanks. Getting such support is truly very helpful for the clients! It's a issue of large fulfillment. I wish you'll proceed this supportive side for the patients. Best of fortune.
Reply to comment

Yuri Bors on Wednesday, 30 October 2013 4:41 PM
Sometimes it will be difficult
Reply to comment

Dave on Wednesday, 28 May 2014 5:54 PM
These are very devastating and alarming factors which can spoil the martial bonding and take it on the edge of disaster. Florida Divorce Attorney
Reply to comment

dubai wedding videographer on Sunday, 8 June 2014 1:16 AM
Thanks so much for a great post about the marriage survive. I'd like to know more about these topics and hope that I can receive more insight into this topic.
Reply to comment

sport on Wednesday, 13 August 2014 9:12 AM
Die effektivste Las Vegas Macher wird Ihnen Empfehlungen meist basierend die groessten draussen info .Und die Zusammen mit dem Sportwetten -oeffentlichkeiten Wahrnehmung gemeinhin falsch .
Reply to comment

love spells on Saturday, 1 November 2014 8:52 PM
I am constantly browsing online for tips that can assist me. Thank you!
Reply to comment on Wednesday, 7 January 2015 3:14 AM
with almost no problem?
Reply to comment

adres on Thursday, 19 March 2015 7:08 AM
Above virtually all, when it currently immediately after cracking open the very door this variety of function will be quite useful
Reply to comment

Tyler Blonsky on Friday, 2 October 2015 4:50 PM
do don�t you have to take a look far too far?
Reply to comment

Damian Zolocsik on Saturday, 3 October 2015 9:18 AM
it's value after that ask?
Reply to comment

Alex Belkin on Saturday, 3 October 2015 12:38 PM
sometimes one really?
Reply to comment

Beau Labeots on Saturday, 3 October 2015 8:16 PM
but need cases?
Reply to comment

Devin Angell on Sunday, 4 October 2015 11:13 AM
the finest providers in?
Reply to comment

Lennie Overbeck on Sunday, 4 October 2015 12:38 PM
idea would have been a helpful?
Reply to comment

Jarred Wehrle on Sunday, 4 October 2015 3:56 PM
effect is normally to be able to obtain?
Reply to comment

Vena Lassere on Sunday, 4 October 2015 4:02 PM
since the idea requires?
Reply to comment

Herman Schell on Sunday, 4 October 2015 7:37 PM
reaping the information?
Reply to comment

Jayna Denaro on Tuesday, 6 October 2015 12:28 PM
decides towards structure a great expert?
Reply to comment

lin on Tuesday, 3 July 2018 8:05 PM
Reply to comment

loegmrntdherid1 on Thursday, 15 November 2018 4:05 PM
I will continue visiting this blog regularly.
Reply to comment

Guest posting services on Monday, 18 February 2019 6:17 PM
Our guest posting services overcome all the challenges and our expert digital marketers spot the authoritative blogs, and contribute guest post on highly relevant blogs in the target niche to generate only contextual links.
Reply to comment

natural male enhancement pills over the counter on Saturday, 2 March 2019 9:10 PM
There are extremely plenty of details prefer that to take into consideration. Which is a great indicate mention. I supply the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly you will find questions like the one you bring up where biggest factor will be in the honest very good faith. I don?t know if guidelines have emerged about items like that, but Almost certainly that your chosen job is clearly known as a reasonable game. Both boys and girls have the impact of a little moment’s pleasure, through out their lives.
Reply to comment

Richard Warke Vancouver on Tuesday, 12 March 2019 6:32 PM
The systematic application of risk management techniques explained by Richard Warke Vancouver in developed countries has contributed to a substantial reduction in the frequency of this type of accident, although important improvements are necessary to reach tolerable limits at a general level.
Reply to comment

Bat dong san nha trang on Tuesday, 12 March 2019 8:31 PM
hello!,I like your writing very much! share we communicate more about your post on AOL? I require a specialist on this area to solve my problem. Maybe that’s you! Looking forward to see you.
Reply to comment

satellite beach on Tuesday, 12 March 2019 8:31 PM
so much good information on here .
Reply to comment

cc cvv shop on Wednesday, 13 March 2019 10:15 PM
I have been examinating out some of the stories and it is fairly very good stuff. I’ll certainly bookmark your blog.
Reply to comment

payday loan consolidation on Wednesday, 13 March 2019 10:15 PM
Your blog is amazing dude. i love to visit it everyday. very nice layout and content ,  
Reply to comment

seo experts on Thursday, 14 March 2019 9:46 PM
Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Superb blog and wonderful design.
Reply to comment on Thursday, 14 March 2019 9:46 PM
Howdy. Very nice web site!! Guy .. Excellent .. Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark your web site and take the feeds additionally…I am satisfied to locate numerous helpful information here within the article. Thank you for sharing.
Reply to comment

grilling gloves on Friday, 15 March 2019 6:04 PM
I would really like you to become a guest poster on my blog.
Reply to comment

roll off containers on Saturday, 16 March 2019 5:06 PM
i always syndicate feeds on my subcribers and of course feedburner is definitely a great help,.
Reply to comment

Life Quotes on Saturday, 16 March 2019 5:06 PM
Normally I do not learn article on blogs, however I wish to say that this write-up very compelled me to take a look at and do it! Your writing style has been amazed me. Thank you, very great post.
Reply to comment

cad services on Saturday, 16 March 2019 11:54 PM
Very useful content material. I’ve discovered your site by using Google and I am actually glad in regards to the information you provide inside your blog posts. By the way your blogs layout is slightly scratched on the Kmelon browser. Can be seriously good if you’re may correct that. Anyway maintain in the great work! cad services
Reply to comment

camel cashmere scarf on Saturday, 16 March 2019 11:55 PM
This is very useful suggestions. I have to say I really like reading this article alot. It helps me to turn into better grasp about the subject. It is all well and good produced. I will definitely search for this kind of material incredibly intriguing. Hopefully you can present more one day. camel cashmere scarf
Reply to comment

motorcycle finance on Thursday, 21 March 2019 1:43 AM
When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new surveys are added- checkbox now when a comment is added I receive four emails with the exact same comment. Could there be any way you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
Reply to comment

organic search engine o on Thursday, 21 March 2019 1:43 AM
The services provided by Marketeing1on1 companies are really complex and they can help you increase the exposure of your existing website. If you hire such a company to conduct your SEO campaign, you can be sure that your content will be professional and it will be published on websites with a very large user base, and all these for a fraction of the price you will have to pay for an article published in a traditional magazine – thus generating large and high quality, but very cheap website traffic for your website.
Reply to comment

futures trading software on Sunday, 24 March 2019 8:41 PM
Im no expert, but I imagine you just made the best point. You certainly comprehend what youre talking about, and I can seriously get behind that. Thanks for being so upfront and so straightforward.
Reply to comment

living room decoration designs on Sunday, 24 March 2019 8:41 PM
Audio began playing as soon as I opened this site, so frustrating!
Reply to comment

Voegwerken on Tuesday, 26 March 2019 6:04 AM
Hey, You make great use of your words in this article. I am impressed with the valid points of interest you make here and I agree. In time your site will discover its potential. Later.
Reply to comment

Layarkaca21 on Tuesday, 26 March 2019 6:04 AM
Thanks for the write up! Also, just a heads up, your RSS feeds aren’t working. Could you take a look at that?
Reply to comment

Dell Parts on Wednesday, 27 March 2019 6:45 AM
Can I just say what a reduction to seek out someone who actually is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know how you can bring an issue to gentle and make it important. Extra folks have to read this and perceive this aspect of the story. I cant consider youre not more in style since you undoubtedly have the gift.
Reply to comment

Free Online advertising on Wednesday, 27 March 2019 6:45 AM
This web-site can be a walk-through rather than the information you wished about it and didn’t know who must. Glimpse here, and you’ll definitely discover it.
Reply to comment

music theory on Wednesday, 27 March 2019 7:19 PM
I believe one of your advertisings triggered my internet browser to resize, you may well want to put that on your blacklist.
Reply to comment

Top Rated Forex Brokers on Wednesday, 27 March 2019 7:19 PM
I really treasure your work , Great post.
Reply to comment

sumo garage doors on Thursday, 28 March 2019 1:13 AM
You’re the best, I just stumbled your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!
Reply to comment

Swiggy Coupons & Offers on Thursday, 28 March 2019 1:13 AM
You really should get involved in a tournament for example of the best blogs online. I’m going to suggest this blog!
Reply to comment

talking to strangers onli on Saturday, 30 March 2019 11:31 PM
You created some decent points there. I looked online for any problem and discovered most individuals go in conjunction with together with your internet site.
Reply to comment

Reply to comment

Cardoza on Thursday, 28 November 2019 6:49 AM
Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I'd figured I'd ask. Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest authoring a blog post or vice-versa? My site covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other. If you happen to be interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Superb blog by the way! Roma Drakt Barn RufusSpye fotbollströjor GaryMacLa IsobelMac maglie calcio bambino LeandraJa
Reply to comment

Crumley on Friday, 29 November 2019 9:41 AM
Superb post however I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I'd be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Many thanks! maglie calcio poco prezzo AlexAdnme fotballdrakter barn LornaDoss OlaYautes Tyskland Drakt GladysMac
Reply to comment

mtom on Tuesday, 10 December 2019 12:05 AM
I conceive you have noted some very interesting details , regards for the post. Poetry Naveed Ahmed
Reply to comment

http://autoreses on Thursday, 12 December 2019 8:57 PM
Reply to comment on Thursday, 12 December 2019 8:57 PM
Reply to comment on Thursday, 19 December 2019 10:41 PM
I believe one of your ads caused my browser to resize, you might want to put that on your blacklist.
Reply to comment on Thursday, 19 December 2019 10:41 PM
Thank you for sharing with us, I think this website genuinely stands out : D.
Reply to comment

Bevins on Saturday, 28 December 2019 10:30 PM
Magnificent beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog web site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept Billige Fotballdrakter
Reply to comment

Things to do on Thursday, 9 January 2020 6:11 PM
I read this article. I think You put a lot of effort to make this article. I like your work. Wondering where to go in 2019? Things to do has ranked as the best include a remote, idyllic island, the design capital ...
Reply to comment

Add a Comment

Your Name:
Email Address: (Required)
Make your text bigger, bold, italic and more with HTML tags. We'll show you how.
Post Comment
Website Builder provided by  Vistaprint